So, I decided to have some fun and fool around with ChatGPT again. This time, I asked it to summarise the Bible in different “colloquial street languages.” You’ll laugh for your head off! It was fun!

Me: Summarise the Bible in Warri pidgin English

ChatGPT said: Wetin dey sup, my guy? Make I knack you tori of the whole Bible in Warri Pidgin—no dulling, just correct Warri gist! 😂🔥

Old Testament – Where Kasala Start

Genesis – “Na here everything burst. God arrange di world, Adam and Eve do oversabi, chop wetin God say make dem no chop—wahala start! Cain vex, kpuff hin broda. Noah see say rain wan fall, build ark. Abraham get covenant, Joseph enter Egypt, later become chairman for there.”

Exodus – “Moses waka go meet Pharaoh: ‘Oga, free my people!’ Pharaoh say ‘Lie lie!’ God vex, send 10 correct gbaskbos. E release dem, later change hin mind, pursue dem, but Red Sea swallow hin army.”

Leviticus – “God give dem rulebook—no chop dirty food, do sacrifice, respect God. If you mess up, e go red for you.”

Numbers – “Dem dey waka round desert like mumu for 40 years because dem no sabi hear word. Plenty kpai for wilderness.”

Deuteronomy – “Moses don old, e tell dem: ‘Una hear? If una no gree obey, thunder go fire una!’”

Joshua – “Joshua na correct guy, e lead dem enter Promised Land, Jericho fall yakata. Dem collect land wey God promise.”

Judges – “E be like say Israelites no get sense. Today dem dey serve God, tomorrow dem don dey do rubbish. God send Samson and others to help dem. But Samson no fit control hin eye for woman, e go fall for Delilah hand.”

Ruth – “Babe wey sabi loyalty. She follow her mother-in-law, later marry beta bobo, cash out.”

1 & 2 Samuel – “Israel beg for king, God give dem Saul. Saul mess up, David show, knack Goliath one correct stone, become king.”

1 & 2 Kings – “Some kings make sense, plenty dey do anyhow. Kingdom divide, enemies come scatter dem.”

1 & 2 Chronicles – “Same story, but with extra sauce and receipts.”

Ezra & Nehemiah – “Dem rebuild Jerusalem after exile. Nehemiah no gree for enemies, e hold things tight!”

Esther – “Fine babe wey sabi package. She use her position as queen save her people. Correct brain work!”

Job – “Job suffer wella—lose everything, even hin body dey pain. But e no curse God. Last-last, God bless am double.”

Psalms – “David dey drop hard worship songs. If you dey vex, dey happy, or wan pray, you go see your own for here.”

Proverbs – “Solomon just dey drop street wisdom. If you no learn sense from here, you be confirmed mumu.”

Ecclesiastes – “Solomon say, ‘All dis enjoyment, money, fame—e no get meaning without God.’”

Song of Solomon – “Love story. E sweet pass honey.”

Isaiah – “Prophet Isaiah dey warn dem, dem no gree. E still talk say Messiah go come.”

Jeremiah – “Jeremiah dey cry for Israelites. Dem dey do anyhow, Babylon come run dem street.”

Lamentations – “Jeremiah dey lament say everything don cast for Jerusalem.”

Ezekiel – “God show Ezekiel crazy vision—dry bones, angels with plenty face. Omo, e choke!”

Daniel – “Daniel dey Babylon, e no gree bow for idol. Dem put am for lion den, lion gree touch am? Lai lai! E mates waka enter fire, dem no even smell smoke. God strong abeg!”

Hosea – Malachi – “All di prophets dey warn Israel, but dem dey do strong head. Malachi na last one before 400 years silence.”

New Testament – Jesus Don Show

Matthew – John – “Na four guys dem tell Jesus tori. Bro dey heal people, teach sense, waka for water, later dem setup am kill am. But Jesus no dey play—3 days later, e show back!”

Acts – “Jesus don go heaven, hin disciples dey on fire. Holy Spirit land, dem begin spread di gospel everywhere. Church don start!”

Romans – Philemon – “Paul dey ginger di churches: ‘Make una stay strong, hold God tight, no let yawa gas for una life.’”

Hebrews – “Jesus pass any prophet or priest. Him be di new agreement, no need old sacrifice again.”

James – “James say, ‘Faith wey no get action na scam. No be to dey talk, make you do!”

1 & 2 Peter – “Peter dey tell dem, ‘Una go face wahala, but make una hold ground, no fear.’”

1, 2, 3 John – “Love na everything. No fake am, who no love, no sabi God.”

Jude – “Jude dey warn make we no let fake pastors run us street.”

Revelation – “John see mad vision—dragons, beasts, battle, wahala everywhere. But last-last, Jesus win!”

Omo, na di full Bible be dis in Warri Pidgin! Hope e clear, my guy? If you still wan break am down, holla me! 🔥😂

 

ChatGPT must have been hanging out with some Warri dudes! Heck, it speaks better pidgin than I do! This is not right. We are being rendered obsolete right before our eyes. 

Intrigued, I tried the summary in “African American street hood language.” Here goes!

Me: Summarise all the books of the bible in African American street hood language

ChatGPT said: Aight, I got you. Here’s the whole Bible, straight-up hood style, keeping it real but respectful.

Old Testament – The OG Era

Genesis – “This where it all pop off. God create the world, Adam and Eve fumble the bag, Cain catch a body, Noah ride out the flood, and Abraham get chosen to be the big homie of a whole nation.”

Exodus – “Moses slide on Pharaoh like, ‘Let my people go!’ Pharaoh wasn’t tryna hear it, so God sent 10 plagues. They dip, cross the Red Sea, but then keep wildin’ in the desert.”

Leviticus – “God drop the law book. Clean food, sacrifices, how to move like real ones. No goofy behavior allowed.”

Numbers – “They wandering in the desert for 40 years ‘cause they hard-headed. Ain’t nobody listening, so God let a whole generation fade out.”

Deuteronomy – “Moses’ farewell speech. He like, ‘Aye, don’t mess this up again!’ They nod, but we know what’s next…”

Joshua – “New leader, new era. Joshua step up, take the squad into the Promised Land, and spin the block on Jericho. Big W.”

Judges – “No king, just chaos. Israel keep getting caught lacking, so God send bosses like Samson (strong but a simp) and Deborah (real leader energy) to help ‘em out.”

Ruth – “Shorty stay loyal, keep it solid, and end up marrying rich. That’s a come-up story.”

1 & 2 Samuel – “Saul start off cool but turn opp. David come through, knock Goliath out, become king, but even he got drama.”

1 & 2 Kings – “Some kings solid, most of ‘em goofy. Kingdom splits, enemies move in, and Israel get packed up.”

1 & 2 Chronicles – “Same story, but with receipts. More details on the kings.”

Ezra & Nehemiah – “They tryna rebuild Jerusalem after exile. Nehemiah got the city on lock, making sure nobody slide in on ‘em.”

Esther – “Queen Esther risk it all to save her people. She move smart, and it pays off.”

Job – “Job lose everything, but keep faith. His homies talk crazy, but God bless him double in the end.”

Psalms – “David and the crew dropping fire prayers and worship bars. Good for any mood.”

Proverbs – “Solomon dropping big wisdom. Basically a street survival guide with God’s touch.”

Ecclesiastes – “Solomon like, ‘Money, power, fame—it’s all temporary. Stay focused on God.'”

Song of Solomon – “A whole book about love and romance. This one spicy.”

Isaiah – “Prophet Isaiah warn folks, but they ain’t listening. Also, he got major Jesus foreshadowing.”

Jeremiah – “Jeremiah preaching hard, but they clown him. He lowkey sad, but he still tell the truth.”

Lamentations – “Jeremiah crying over the city getting wrecked. Pure pain.”

Ezekiel – “God show Ezekiel some crazy visions—dry bones coming to life, four-headed creatures, the whole nine.”

Daniel – “Daniel stay solid in Babylon, get thrown in a lions’ den, but God keep him safe. His homies survive a fire too.”

Hosea – Malachi – “All these prophets tryna tell Israel to get right, but they keep tweaking. Malachi the last one before a 400-year silence…”

New Testament – The Big Boss Arrives

Matthew – John – “Four different perspectives on Jesus’ life. Bro healing people, walking on water, flipping tables, and dropping wisdom. Then they do him dirty, but he come back in 3 days like a G.”

Acts – “Jesus’ squad (the disciples) start spreading the message worldwide. The Holy Spirit show up, and now they on fire with it.”

Romans – Philemon – “Paul writing letters to churches and telling ‘em, ‘Keep the faith, stop tweaking, and move with love.’”

Hebrews – “Jesus the real MVP. The old laws cool, but he got the new wave now.”

James – “Faith without work? Dead. Put in the effort, no lazy faith.”

1 & 2 Peter – “Peter dropping survival tips for believers tryna navigate the struggle.”

1, 2, 3 John – “Love God, love people. No fake love out here.”

Jude – “Stay woke, ‘cause fake ones out here moving reckless.”

Revelation – “John see crazy visions—dragons, beasts, end of the world-type stuff. But in the end, Jesus wins. Period.”

 

This was hilarious! “Shorty stay loyal, keep it solid, and end up marrying rich?” Ruth, I see you, girl! Not getting with broke Brother Martin, are we? 

The Bible précis was funny but useful. It’s a simple guide for kids, for example. It’s hard enough explaining Leviticus and Hebrews to my 12-year-old.  

I decided to try one last language. MLE. Multicultural London English. Here goes!  

 

ChatGPT said: Aight, fam, I got you. Here’s the whole Bible MLE style—roadman translation but still respectful to the Word.

Old Testament – The OG Times

Genesis – “Yo, dis where it all starts, innit? God builds the world, man flops it from early, Noah’s ark business, Abraham gets blessed up, and Joseph moves from slave to top boy in Egypt.”

Exodus – “Moses rolls up to Pharaoh like, ‘Lemme take my people, yeah?’ Pharaoh’s moving stubborn, so God sends 10 plagues. Man finally lets them go, but then tries chase them down—flops in the Red Sea.”

Leviticus – “God sets the rules—clean food, no moving reckless, sacrifices, and bare laws to keep the mandem in check.”

Numbers – “Man’s dem stuck wandering in the desert for 40 years ‘cause they don’t listen. Moving like some wastemen.”

Deuteronomy – “Moses’ last speech. Man’s like, ‘Listen, yeah? If you pattern up, you get blessed. If not, it’s long for you.’”

Joshua – “Joshua steps up, leads man’s dem into the Promised Land. They spin the block on Jericho, walls fall down—big win.”

Judges – “Israel moving wild. God sends judges like Deborah (big boss) and Samson (strong but let Delilah finesse him) to set them straight.”

Ruth – “Shorty stays loyal, bags herself a rich man, gets a big upgrade.”

1 & 2 Samuel – “Saul starts king but flops it. David steps up—knocks Goliath clean out, becomes king, but still moving messy at times.”

1 & 2 Kings – “Some kings solid, most of them pagans. Kingdom gets split, and it’s peak—other nations come through and chef them up.”

1 & 2 Chronicles – “Same story but from another angle. Just in case man forgot what went down.”

Ezra & Nehemiah – “Man’s return from exile, rebuild Jerusalem, Nehemiah locks off the ops tryna move mad.”

Esther – “Shorty plays it smart, finesses the system, saves her people. Big brain moves.”

Job – “Bro loses everything—family, money, health. Man’s suffering heavy, but stays solid. God restores him double.”

Psalms – “David and the mandem drop cold poetry and prayers. Proper deep still.”

Proverbs – “Solomon spitting wisdom. This is straight game—‘Don’t move foolish, don’t chat reckless, fear God.’”

Ecclesiastes – “Solomon’s like, ‘Yo, life is kinda pointless without God. All this money and clout? Just dust, fam.'”

Song of Solomon – “Man’s talking about love and romance. This one’s different, still.”

Isaiah – “Prophet Isaiah warning man about their foolishness. Also, big foreshadowing of Jesus.”

Jeremiah – “Bro’s out here preaching, nobody listening. Man’s city gets run through.”

Lamentations – “Jeremiah’s crying—proper sad. His ends got mashed up.”

Ezekiel – “Ezekiel sees mad visions—dry bones coming alive, four-headed creatures. Trippy stuff.”

Daniel – “Daniel’s out in Babylon, keeps it real with God, gets thrown in a lion’s den but walks out untouched. Man’s certified.”

Hosea – Malachi – “Loads of prophets telling Israel, ‘Fix up or get packed in.’ But Israel’s still moving mad. Malachi the last one before a 400-year silence.”

New Testament – The Big Boss Arrives

Matthew – John – “Four man tell the Jesus story. Bro’s out here healing, teaching, flipping tables in the temple, then they snake him, but he rises in 3 days like a real G.”

Acts – “Jesus’ mandem start moving the gospel heavy. Holy Spirit pulls up, now they’re active worldwide.”

Romans – Philemon – “Paul’s sending letters to different spots like, ‘Aye, stay solid, don’t let the streets take you off track.’”

Hebrews – “Jesus > the old laws. Man’s the new way, better than all that before.”

James – “Faith without work? Dead, fam. Pattern up.”

1 & 2 Peter – “Peter tells people how to survive the madness as a believer. No soft ones here.”

1, 2, 3 John – “Yo, love God, love people. No fake love around here.”

Jude – “Watch out for frauds moving mad in the church.”

Revelation – “John sees crazy end-time visions—beasts, dragons, fire, war. But in the end, Jesus wins. Simple.”

That’s the whole Bible in MLE terms, fam. Let me know if you need man to break it down further. 🔥💯