Kunle Afolayan’s Swallow is a hard one to swallow. It’s 4/10.

It stands to reason that in a country where life expectancy is 55 years, every minute counts. And I’ve just wasted 128 minutes watching Swallow. So, if I die before 55 years, look no further than Mr. Afolayan and Netflix. Both have conspired to abbreviate my life through the malicious purloining of 128 minutes. Look, I’m pissed. Really pissed. I …

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