Avengers:Endgame. Won ti get wa.

I joined the Marvel fanboy horde and went to see Avengers: Endgame. I’ll talk about the movie itself in a second. But let’s linger a bit on the influence of America and Hollywood on our minds. 

Per the accounts of other Avengers fanboys, tickets to Endgame in all cinemas in Lagos were sold out for three straight days. I saw it a week after it premiered and the theatre was no less full. Box office results suggest the movie is on track for some insane revenue. 

I sat in the cinema watching people bay and sigh and laugh. Tempers flared and emotions ran high. If you blocked the screen or tried to find suitable seating with light from your phone, you were met with viperous hissing. Every word and scene was precious. 

Hollywood ti get wa.

How did Hollywood and America manage to get the world lapping water at its feet this feverishly? 

Movies are about entertainment. But make no mistake people. Movies influence our thoughts much more than we realise.

I’m a big movie buff. I really like movies. But I’m not unaware of their massive power to seed thoughts and ideas. Of course, music and books do influence thoughts and actions. But because books are especially high-involvement media, we are conscious of what we are consuming and may reflect on it. But movies are more stealthy. The messages are subliminal, the suggestions subtle. But do it consistently and long enough and you can change behaviour. 

Take me, for instance. I knew what a cheeseburger tasted like long before I tasted one. I was ‘American’ in outlook way before I visited America. Thanks to Hollywood.

I’ve never been to Russia, but when I think of Russians, I unwittingly find myself thinking of a hard and unsmiling people. Probably brush their teeth with vodka. I think of Jerkov, who is obviously a jerk and who gets off drowning citizens on behalf of the state. Or burly Orlov who specialises in asphyxiation with barbed wires.

That’s because in many Hollywood movies, Russians are as hard as nails and always the bad guys.

Well, I suppose it doesn’t help that Putin hardly smiles. Very charming, that Vladimir.

At the hands of Hollywood, we are sitting ducks. With popcorn. 

Odd how I got philosophical watching a  make-belief. 

Right. back to Avengers:Endgame. 

I’m not trying to be a party pooper, but I enjoyed Avengers: Infinity War more.

For starters, for a 3-hour-long movie and one involving Thanos, intergalactic despot and Lord of all Villainy, I expected some real butt-kicking. But there was too much senrenren. Too much time building up the story. Minimal ass-whooping. Come on, it’s Thanos we are talking about here, damn it. I mean, this dude kicked Hulk’s butt so hard Hulk retreated into Bruce Banner never to resurface again in Infinity War. But what do we have in Endgame: Mr Iron Man knocks up Pepper Potts and has a daughter and Hulk is now a cool dressed scientist. He even wears a suit and a tie.

Travesty.

What happened to the Hulk that loved to smash?  Our Hulk?

Avengers ko, Egbesu ni. 

I might as well have gone to watch Makate Must Sell.   

But I absolutely loved that Asgardians are now refugees in Norway (where else!) and Thor had developed a paunch! That was brilliant. I could relate with that. I could. 

And what was that bit about Captain America now ‘worthy’ to wield Mjolnir? Loved the way he used on Thanos though. Felt natural in his hands. Unexpected twist.

But that Captain Marvel. She can like to show herself sha. Too much power and air. And are we going to see a black Captain America?

I’m just messing with you all. Avengers:Endgame wasn’t bad. Didn’t have the great plot and action of Infinity War, but it is still enjoyable. It is after all still an Avengers movie. 

So what are the next most anticipated movies of 2019? Spider-Man: Far from Home,  John Wick: Chapter 3, X-Men: Dark Phoenix? What next is Hollywood dishing us? 

Yea, we are waiting. 

Sitting ducks. 

4 Comments

  1. Dipo Opatola

    I totally agree with you mate! There wasn’t even enough ass kicking. There is no way the Avengers could have taken on Thanos without Hulk! Don’t get me started on a talking Hulk!!! Captain Marvel totally underutilized……. but I can understand it sha cos she is cheat mode! I also preferred infinity War.

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